The Tiger In My Belly

She's not growling yet, but, I can sense her presence. It happens every morning when I wake up and a few times each day. She is only after one thing. Sustenance.

I've been depriving her of nourishment not because I want to but because I have to. I only have so much to give and my maternal instincts tell me to abandon my own needs.

I will not allow my child to go without. I can afford to skip a meal or two if it means leaving more for my daughter. She needs the nutrition more than I do. I eat. Only less than normal.

My daughter coined that phrase at home. Ever since she could talk, that's how I'd know she was hungry. When the tiger would growl, she'd say, "Mommy, there's a tiger in my belly."

She's not growling, but, if I don't feed her soon, I'll hear her loud and clear. I cana feel her though. She brings pain to let me know ahead of time. I think I have some oatmeal. Or, I could make tortillas. I don't eat much meat. That's about all my daughter likes. Well, that and junk food.

Her father didn't pay child support this weekend. That's why I have to do without. Plus, I don't have a job. Nobody wants to hire me. I'm tired of depending on him, because the truth is, I can't. I never know when he is going to help support our daughter. They aren't close and I have a feeling that one day soon, he won't be coming over at all. She won't want him to and he won't act like he cares.